Well, I guess it was good to vent. Even though I’m aware nobody’s reading this. I think it’s just the possibility that they could, you know? Like I’m broadcasting something to this community and if I get something back from it, great, but either way it’s a cathartic activity. But hey, why do I need to explain blogging to anyone? You get it.

But it’s going to be fine because I’m attending a mandatory workshop on “Making stress work for you!” tomorrow and that will fix everything, right?

I mean, it’s got to be pretty irresponsible for a consulting psychiatrist, especially one I have a history with, to not get back to me about availability of an appointment. Like, it’s extremely hard to reach out and ask for help and it was a really big deal for me to even pick up the phone, and to just be ignored now is pretty defeating. This experience is kind of a nightmare scenario.. I feel so abandoned and shut down. It’s awful not having friends or family that I feel I can turn to, but when it’s a mental health support service or medical professional, that’s pretty messed up.

How do I ask for help? How do I get out of this hole? I don’t want to be alone anymore. I don’t know what I’m doing.. Especially here. I guess (pathetically) I’m looking for a support I once found here.